Myths and Legends of Lord Gogook

And so it came that the great and good legions of Gogook entered the badlands of Akwarias. The evil occupants were well prepared though, and many Akwarian warriors lined the hilltops in wait for the battle ahead. The brigade of Buuttllaars drugoon pikemen were resplendant in their armour, each man had buffed his attire to a high sheen, and helmets glinted in the sunlight. Twas a tense time and the drums of Kife could be heard thundering their menace throughout the valley of Aaakrr.

I ordered my men to remain steadfast. “Do not be affeared of these peasants” I said, “for they are but nothing in compare to the monstrous Lesbos Parronage whom is already slain at my hand!”.

The order seemed to arrive at both sides simultaneously and there was a mighty charge toward the middle ground. Sabres and lances hacked and slew among the melee, heads and limbs caught off guard were strewn across the ground. A turn of the Kloc had passed before any progress could be made. But finally my forces appeared to be gaining control and I thought it would only be a short candle’s length til the battle was won.

Suddenly, from out of the miste of Aaakrr came a frightful sound. Twas an eerie and discordant sound almost reminiscent of the Axxes of Preestartinn. Then they were upon us! Great flying egglike creatures spewing flame and dropping instant thunder in our midst. I feared that all was lost, what possible defence could we offer with our lances and sabres? My men were dropping all around, and it was in desperation that I summoned the old wizard Cookaye.

“I have claimed many a benefit simply by doing nothing.” said Cookaye.

I was perplexed and shook the old wizard by his robes in search of an answer to our plight. Then there appeared a glint in the ancient’s eye and he gestured toward the trees. “Take your men amongst the wood and be still in its gloom” said Cookaye.

I gave the order and led our brave and fearless force toward the trees. The thunder and flame continued all around us as the flying eggs followed. Finally, our army reached the trees and took shelter in the sanctuary of the woody place. But the frightful and hideous egglike beings tried to reach us. How insane could these creatures be? One by one we watched as the flying monsters came to ground and exploded in flame and smoke writhing helplessly. No longer the menace they were in the air, my men skewered each of them and finalised their plight. The imbecilic creatures had been beaten by the dumb branches of simple trees!

Once more, the armies of Gogook were victorious. Many stories were told about that day and the battle became known as the legend…

“The downing of the eggs of Akwarias.”

Lord Gogook

3rd Millennium

About the author:

Tony Williams (alias Lord Gogook) is a musician, writer and self-confessed eBay fanatic. He currently maintains The Irreverent Rock Music Lexicon at

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